For an audio version of this post, please click on the speaker icon (top left).
This post will require a lot of audience participation for it to work.
I really hope that you will do me the favor of providing me with your genuine answers (please select the choice that closely resembles the first thought that popped in your head).
Remember that you will remain anonymous in your responses so you can be completely honest without fear of repercussions.
So without further adieu, I present,
The Shooting
Achmed stared at Michael, who was not more than 15 feet away.
Looking at Achmed you can see the rage slowly build up, his eyes with laser like focus on Michael.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Achmed raised his gun up and aimed at Michael’s head.
A quick pull on the trigger and the bullet was sent along its course, milliseconds later finding its target who instantaneously collapsed to the ground, blood beginning to pool by the side of his head.
The life drained out of Michael as quickly as it took the bullet to complete its fatal trajectory.
Please answer the following poll before continuing.
The investigation was subsequently launched.
It turns out that Achmed was in his house upstairs in the bedroom reading.
His wife and three kids were downstairs playing in the living room when Michael, an individual long known by police as a violent criminal, broke into the home brandishing a weapon.
Michael had just lost his job to, “a foreigner,” got drunk and targeted Achmed’s family wanting them to suffer for his loss.
Hearing the commotion downstairs, Achmed grabbed his gun and headed downstairs and got between Michael and his family.
Drunk and angered, Michael charged at Achmed and his family, weapon brandished, which bring us to the beginning of this tale.
I have no idea how the above social experiment will turn out (hopefully you were able to answer honestly).
I will tell you, unfortunately, that this social experiment plays out on a daily basis and I myself have been biased against because of my gender and race.
Without going into too graphic of details, during my divorce proceedings, an actual argument to the judge by opposing counsel was that in India, Indian men are “well known” for abusing their daughters.
This was obviously meant to imply that, because I am 1) Indian and 2) Male, I therefore must be guilty by association.
I cannot tell you the rage that seethed through my very being hearing her utter those words (I was on the stand when she was allowed to make her unchecked outrageous argument).
It took a Herculean effort just to maintain my composure.
I later played that statement over and over again in my head for many sleepless nights I had during the subsequent divorce proceedings, thinking if this is how the legal system works it is no wonder that there are many innocent African Americans or other minorities populating jails these days.
Later on, when I had to deal with the frivolous lawsuit my ex-wife had placed on me for $4 million, I felt there was extreme prejudice against me early on.
In a civil lawsuit jury trial, the plaintiff (my ex-wife) has the opportunity to present the case first.
For two days I had to sit in the defendants chair while my ex-wife and her lawyer got to spew their unfounded lies.
Only thing was the jury did not know that these were lies as they came out so eloquently from their mouths.
I felt like a monster in that courtroom and if I didn’t actually know the truth, I would have hated me too.
It is hard to walk into a courtroom knowing your innocent but everyone looks at you with disdain as if you really did commit unspeakable acts.
However, as with any trial, I as the defendant indeed had the opportunity to defend myself.
The fact that my ex-wife was caught in several contradictory statements and did poorly under cross examination while I had the truth to guide me so I never had to memorize any lines (as the opposing party clearly did to get their stories straight) allowed the jury to come to the correct conclusion and awarded her $0.00.
The moral of this exercise:
It is important to delay judgement, bias, prejudice for or against anything until you get the full story.
In finance this includes doing your own due diligence so that you are not swayed by a sales pitch and just get one side of the story.
NOTE: The website XRAYVSN contains affiliate links and thus receives compensation whenever a purchase through these links is made (at no further cost to you). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Although these proceeds help keep this site going they do not have any bearing on the reviews of any products I endorse which are from my own honest experiences. Thank you- XRAYVSN
Sad but important to highlight recognition of bias, both by the media and unwittingly in the context of the baggage each of us had been raised with.
It is outrageous your fatherhood skills would be brought into question based on stereotyping – I can’t imagine the fury I’d feel if that type of deeply flawed reasoning was a basis of separating me from my child.
Thanks for exploring this,
CD
Thank you CD. In my head I’ve been contemplating writing a book that actually will give every single detail of my entire marriage, divorce, and subsequent lawsuit. It will spare nothing unlike the extremely sugar coated version on this blog. I think I am going to wait till my daughter turns 18 though before publishing it as I don’t want anything to come back to her while she is still a child. Bias definitely exists in this society even if we try to push it under the rug.
Cool idea, Xrayvsn.
This is an important topic near and dear to my heart. One of my best friends is a black guy who has taught me a ton about their perspective and culture. He opened my eyes to the implicit bias I carried (and likely still do to some extent) before that. It was immensely helpful in teaching me how to put myself in someone else’s shoes.
This post did the same.
TPP
Appreciate you stopping by and adding to the discussion of a very touchy subject TPP. As I mentioned 1/2 Life Theory had a post that sort of stirred up some memories of my own and figured creating a fictional story that makes viewers think was a novel idea to drive home some of the biases everyone can carry without realizing it. Have a great rest of the weekend!
This was so good! I was completely on the edge of my seat for this.
I had no idea about the lawsuit… I really need to catch up on your old stuff from before I started blogging lol.
So glad your ex got nothing! That’s just deplorable. I’m happy you kept your composure through everything and rose above. You’re awesome man! ?
Thanks HLT, I really appreciate it. Well fortunately my blog only started in April so you don’t have too many posts to wade through. The lawsuit post is titled I made every mistake in the book 4b (4a was the divorce one).
Biases are really are a huge part of the short-cuts our brain takes when making quick decisions. It is so important to check your assumptions at the door, use mental models to prevent becoming a thinker who only follows the crowd, and lastly it is important to use data for the basis of your opinions!
Thanks for sharing the story!
Thank you Chris for stopping by and dropping some words of wisdom. Biases are definitely something that is hard to identify in each of us but it lurks there in our deep recesses. I’m sure there was an evolutionary cause for this but hopefully we can rise above pure Pavlovian responses and be more advanced in our thinking
Hey XRV, I have long ago realized that what others think of me is not within my control. The most important relationship you have is with yourself. If you live your life with integrity and self respect, no one can really touch you at your core. Although all those events were extremely unpleasant, you are likely stronger than ever. Your daughter deserves the best side of her dad. She has already missed too much precious time away from you XRV. I’m sure she just wants you to be happy. Hopefully spending a wonderful life with her will begin to minimize… Read more »
Thanks DMB and very well said. I have put it way in the past and you are correct time with daughter has definitely minimized the previous wrongs to me. I appreciate the support
I have always tried to use people’s prejudices to my advantage. In my early years I think most people assumed I was not smart because I was a blonde from the deep South. I think I did ok.
I think you did more than ok hatton and glad that you proved your doubters wrong. I know your story of being the only female ObGyn in your practice early on really epitomized that prejudice. So happy you broke free of that group and branched out on your own. I would be curious to see if any of your former partners are still paycheck to paycheck while you are basically free to do what you want.