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One of the financial no-no’s in the FIRE community, and particularly the physician FIRE community is shelling out large sums of money for your kids to attend private school instead of public school.
It is indeed a very large expense with some private schools in the country costing more to attend than some universities.
Many have rightly pointed out that the public education system gives a child as much a chance to succeed and gain acceptance to high power universities and med schools as one who has been been immersed in the private school culture.
So why do some physicians (and myself) do it?
For me a there were several factors that ultimately made this decision a lot simpler for me.
- Culture:
- Education is important and particularly stressed in Asian/Indian families.
- Within these family dynamics there is a perceived notion that if you pay more for an education it must signify some added benefit that your child may not have otherwise.
- I myself went to a prestigious private school in California for high school.
- I felt that private school not only gave me opportunities I may not have gotten elsewhere, it also raised my chances of getting into Johns Hopkins University.
- Because of this, I felt I had an obligation to pay it forward with my own daughter
- It allowed me to take a large advantage in Geographic Arbitrage and not feel guilty
- The home I live in is located in quite a rural area/farmland.
- Property prices and property taxes were far lower than if I chose to live closer to the city where I work.
- The main disadvantage was that the public schooling system where my daughter would have had to attend was not as well rated as those in the larger, more expensive, cities.
- With a well respected private school in close vicinity it allowed me to take advantage of the property savings (which allowed me to get a much nicer home than I would have been able to) and still feel like I was giving educational advantages to my daughter.
- I can easily see my home costing 3-4x more than I paid for it in a high cost of living area and feel that the considerable savings from just this aspect alone could finance my daughters private 6-12th grade education multiple times over.
- Due to my financial rebirth a few years earlier, I was already considered a high net worth individual by the time I obtained full custody of my daughter and she started her first available year of private school (grade 6)
- Her tuition costs and all associated expenses could be expensed to and completely taken care of by my passive income sources alone.
I agree that I could have turbocharged my wealth accumulation even more by not sending my daughter to private school while maintaining the same geographic arbitrage I have.
But there comes a point where you can not just focus on accumulating wealth.
Although achieving enough wealth to be financially independent is a worthwhile endeavor, it is equally important to realize that wealth for the sake of wealth is not.
Achieving wealth allows you to partake in things that may be deemed a luxury by some but bring you happiness or some perceived utility.
Money is a resource that eventually needs to be spent (lest your goal is to die the richest person in the cemetery).
Depending on your priorities, some endeavors which others may find excessive or extravagant, should still be undertaken if it fits your core fundamentals.
Of course if financial resources are limited, I always advise to be selfish and put your own financial needs (retirement savings) over the perceived financial needs of your children (undergraduate/graduate school funding).
There are far more opportunities for funding educational expenses than there are for retirement/medical expenses:
- Although not ideal, children can always go into debt with student loans in order to receive a higher education.
- Scholarships/grants can be utilized to reduce the educational cost even further.
- With the exception of a reverse home mortgage (which only works if you are a homeowner), there are very limited opportunities for retirees to gain access to money without re-entering the workforce (which is not always a given) if they outlive their nest egg.
- This situation in turn may create an even larger financial burden on their children than any student loan ever could.
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Note:
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Even a steadfast DIY’er can sometimes gain benefit from the occasional professional input.
NOTE: The website XRAYVSN contains affiliate links and thus receives compensation whenever a purchase through these links is made (at no further cost to you). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Although these proceeds help keep this site going they do not have any bearing on the reviews of any products I endorse which are from my own honest experiences. Thank you- XRAYVSN
Public schools can be just as good as private, or they can be woefully worse depending on where you live of course. I grew up in Baltimore City where public schools were horrible. It wasn’t an option.
I agree that depending on what public schools are available determines if private schools make sense or not. Appreciate you stopping by to comment.
I’m with Dave on this one. It all depends on the quality of the options available in the area. If we stay within Charleston County when we have kids, public school would be a viable option. If we go further out into the country, well who knows. I can’t stand petty arguments or over-generalizations about private school stereotypes. It should always be about the best educational/overall opportunity for the child. I was homeschooled. My sister went to public school. Different circumstances require different solutions. Because like you said, it’s not allllll about accumulating wealth and dying in a cold, hard… Read more »
Very well said MFM. It’s really what the best option for child is in your particular situation (both financial and geographical). And you are more than welcome to embellish since it is better than the original.?
My kids were extremely good students and so there was no real advantage to private school for us since our small town had ok public schools. The schools rated poorly but that was due to a high percentage of disadvantaged low income students. I liked the fact that my kids were sometimes the minority race in their classes, it was good for them to have a diverse group of friends both from race and economic perspectives. They all got free rides from scholarships through their first four year degrees. They all paid their own way after that. They tutored other… Read more »
Thanks Steveark for your perspective. I do believe there are some great public schools out there. I have been a product of both. When I was growing up I was in a public school and developed bad habits because I was far ahead of the curve (ended up being 8th grade valedictorian despite not studying at all) and I believe I was offered to skip not 1 but 2 grades (my dad did not want me to because he thought it would be better to be with kids my own age). It took me awhile to get habits back in… Read more »
We found a great compromise and decided to homeschool our kids. Granted, we are a single income family but felt this was a great way to provide them a great education.
Homeschooling is a great option but really need to have a dedicated parent for that as it is essentially a full time job. I am envious of those families that can travel and do homeschooling so the children are exposed to different cultures etc
We homeschooled for a couple of years. Freedom to travel is a major perk.
That is definitely a benefit of homeschooling. I don’t think I was cut out for it though as it would be tough as a single dad to work and have that option (plus from the homework my daughter currently brings me I realize how much I have forgotten when I have to help her review)
Stepping into the fray with this one! This is one of those debates that seems to get people very passionate. We all want what is best for our kids and if we can afford living in a high cost of living area and going to public school or live somewhere cheaper and go to private school then do what works. I guess the most “no-no-ishness” of this comes in when either you live in a HCOL area with good schools and send your kids to private school (double wammy) or if you are complaining about living “pay-check-to-paycheck” as a physician… Read more »
Very true. That’s why I ended it saying this is the one time parents should feel selfish and fund their retirement accounts before spending on kids private school or tuition. If you are living paycheck to paycheck this is one of those luxuries that needs to be cut from the budget
This is a big deal in LA – housing costs are often inversely related to quality of public education. Friends opt private for religious preferences, perceived discipline, special needs kids, and responsiveness of school faculty. It’s a deeply personal choice. Like buying a house, buying a private education is a consumption item, but the ROI is entirely in the eye of the consumer. We decided to invest in a home in a district with enclave public schools, and while we are generally thrilled, it’s no panacea. We still supplement on our own at home now and again. All in all,… Read more »
Appreciate the insight from your part of the country. I know financial samurai has mentioned that in San Francisco even if you own property in the desired school district there is a chance your child won’t be allowed to go there because of some legislation which has a lottery system and thus have their kids bussed to the school they get assigned instead of the local one.
I grew up in metropolitan upper middle class suburbs of east L.A. where the public schools were decent. I did fine (I think). My wife grew up in a middle class town in rural California where she went to a good public school. When we decided to buy our house, we deliberately chose to live in an area with a good public school. This decision was two fold. Our daughter (and future children) would go to a good public school, we could save some money by not sending her to a private school, and real estate values tend to hold… Read more »
I agree parenting is incredibly hard. It is a fine line between developing them to becoming high functioning adults in society and spoiling them with risk of entitlement syndrome. Property values always hold up the best in great school districts so I am sure your decision to move there will be a sound one now and in future. My choice of home was quite a unique story in itself and set into a motion a variety of things that got me where I am today. I actually have a pretty cool post on it coming down the pipeline in early… Read more »
Hey XRV,
Good discussion. I think the public vs private school debate can start from kindergarten all the way to medical school. I do think that it becomes much more emotional since it involves our children and we want the “best” for them.
Thanks for stopping by Volunteer Pediatrician. I have definitely heard of people who shell out some outrageous amounts to have their kids in prestigious schools starting from kindergarten (some with tuition as high as state colleges). I personally feel that it really is in the 9th-12th grade level that would give the best return for private school tuition (I doubt a $10k/yr kindergarten has better or exclusive access to fingerpaints than a public one does). It just so happened that the private school near my house has a middle school that starts from grade 6, so I figured it would… Read more »
Hehe. I’ll probably send my kid to private school too. Nothing wrong with setting your priorities!
Very true. I have a weak spot for spending on my daughter and she knows it. Lol. Thanks for stopping by
Public schools can be really awesome (a lot of the really great ones are filled with Asian folks, who often prefer them to private due to better science and math offerings) and some are really terrible. In my hometown, the best public schools have better outcomes than private, which are lacking in the sciences. I think the tough thing in some rural areas is that (boarding schools excluded), the private options are often not that great either. It’s just harder to find sufficiently qualified teachers and students in areas with smaller populations, so most parents are stuck supplementing either way.… Read more »
Appreciate the great commentary. I agree that the best public schools really have high power programs typically excelling in math and science. I have no idea why the private school my daughter goes to is located a bit off the beaten path but it is very well known for great education and has international students and boarders as well as day school options. I again lucked into it with no planning beforehand.
That sounds like a good situation. My cousin went to a top boarding school (you would have heard of it) and really liked it. The math and science weren’t as strong as good public (no Intel or Regeneron), although very good, but their college placement and the extracurriculars more than made up for it. Bigger question is- will traditional education be as important in the future? I can say as an MD that IME education is, frankly, overrated, and that you don’t need much to get into any professional school. It may enrich one’s life, but that kind of education… Read more »
I agree 100% that there has to be a drastic change in higher education. The current rate of tuition increases and costs to attend are making college a debt trap and I can’t imagine some degrees obtained will ever be able to pay it off.
Good discussion topic. I see lots of docs in my town sending their kids to the local very expensive private school as a keeping up with the Jones-type expense.
Thanks Hatton1. I do think sending kids to private school for bragging rights/keeping up with the Joneses is not a valid reason to drop that amount of money. Should have a better rationale than that
My son’s public school is awesome. It is so much better than the public schools I went to. We paid more to live in the area and accept that. You have to pay either way. It’s rare to have good public schools in low cost of living area. I think sending your daughter to a private school is the right option for your family.
Thanks Joe. Yeah the options were pretty limited around here. There are some decent public schools where I work (35 miles away) but that was not an option. Thats great you have a great school system. That helps with home values as well
Very interesting point about “saving” on geoarbitrage and using those savings to finance your daughter’s education. Super interesting trade-off. I don’t have kids yet but I will keep this in mind in case that I do some day. Thanks for sharing!
It was definitely a give and take on my wallet. In the long run I still came out ahead because of the very low cost of living where I am (pretty rural).
I was fortunate that a top ranked private school was just 20 min away (and on my way to work)