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Thank you for stopping by for another installment in my Divorce and FIRE series.
I have been thrilled with the support and comments shown by my readers to these individuals who have really opened up and shared with us a very traumatic time in their lives.
Every person who has submitted their story has told me that they were touched by the outpouring of comments.
I hope that this inspires others to continue this series by submitting their own tales of divorce.
I came in contact with this submitter, who wishes to remain anonymous, through HARO (Help A Reporter Out).
When I first read through her email I truly was taken aghast.
It read like a script from a horror movie and I would not have been able to fathom that this could actually occur in real life if had not already gone through my own divorce nightmare.
I am responding to your inquiry for divorce horror stories.
I was a victim of one when I was an American living in Toronto, Canada for 23 years.
The first 20 years were great, while the last 3 involved a divorce so harrowing and surreal, no one could have made it up.
Fortunately, I was an American and finally left the country, only after exhausting all of my resources to gain custody access to my children.
Sadly, the situation was pre-meditated, bought and fixed.
There is a faulted sub-law (called Brian’s Law) in that country that my ex used to have me incarcerated for 63 days (under another woman’s identity who had my same married name, and with whom he had a history with).
This other woman had an 11-page history of mental illness and therefore, I was not assessed, but was drugged until I was “blunted”.
Then the ex (and his pedophile-protecting, co-conspiring child psychiatrist) got a CTO (Community Treatment Order) to force me on those drugs for the rest of my life (with no access to my children as their motivating factor).
I was a highly articulate and accomplished academic and professional musician at the time.
He literally silenced me (clinical notes said I was “blunted”) in the courts, as no judge ever saw or heard my story.
If you look at the drug schedule that was forced on me (including Loxapine plus experimental highest doses of anti-psychotics, anticonvulsants, etc.), this was clearly an attempted elimination of me, a good and worthy mother.
I was “released” – but only after the minimal 63 days when the ex got his CTO.
I managed to quickly get off the horrific drugs with friends in NYC (many days of horror there), and remember only having a clear, connected thought (like “I am going to the store to get bread to make a sandwich”) after 8+ months.
I then began asking what happened to me and started collecting all documents related to this case.
His mother died about 14 months before my nightmare began.
She left a $1.8 million inheritance to both of us (as I supported him for most of our 15 year marriage).
He wanted to get my name off her will and he did.
As soon as I was secured in the mental hospital (3-4 days), he and his brother were in court day after day changing the will (as I was “mentally incapacitated” at the time.)
The other patient’s 11 pages were removed from the clinical notes used to commit this crime.
It took me many months to get those notes and the whole debacle was eventually systematically covered up by the CPSO [College of Physicians And Surgeons Of Ontario].
Let’s look at the ex – let’s start with “unemployed and unemployable” and a long history of psychopathic behaviors (I am not his only victim then or since…).
When I met him, he was a spear carrier at the opera and I was on a fast-track career and singing major roles in the Toronto opera company.
He made me laugh and seemed to clean up as we headed towards marriage.
He then quickly slipped back into his riff-raff normal self within a few years (and after several firings from the jobs he managed to talk his way into).
He then got real interested in children, particularly swimming clubs and still hangs with scantily clad young ones while flying completely under the radar online.
I have not seen my children for over 16 years now.
Fortunately, perhaps, there is some phenomenal science/ neuroscience in my story.
My brain super-healed, hyper bounced-back from this 63-day horrific chemical insult.
I finally came back to the states after exhausting all financial and systemic means of remedying this situation, I felt (and realized) that my life was in real danger from those who were shamed and shamefully covering it up.
As a professional musician, my heart was broken and my career was decimated.
Fortunately, I was American, have the American character and spirit – and have rebuilt my life through a purpose-driven, cross-disciplinary move to neuroscience, mental health science and aging brain health.
I have done this for the love and sake of my lost children, so that they can understand the potential to transform over the course of their remaining years.
Living with a psychopath, they are fully brainwashed and twisted in their thinking – living sub-optimal lives and at the beck and call of their dad.
Indeed – my children are the main victims of this horror story.
I just returned from presenting at the American Psychological Association in Chicago (this year and last) where I presented on Music as Medicine for dementia patients.
I also presented some overall findings in a Society for Neuroscience conference in 2014, after I graduated with my 2nd Masters from the Johns Hopkins Medical Institute.
At the APA [American Psychological Association] conference, I attended the preview of a new film that presented largely on this Canadian problem “Erasing Family” through a multi-billion industry of courts, appeals, assessments, and other costs.
This, in part, sums up what I experienced there.
This incredible savagery was due to the inheritance, the unemployable husband (lots about him in the mostly redacted medical records I finally managed get after 3 court orders, 60 pages of requests and 2 years of waiting).
I was (and am) a highly accomplished, articulate, and capable mother.
I married riff raff who had a lifetime of working the socialist system in Canada.
No one questioned (or counted) the 130+ sessions he had with the child psychiatrist (who had not even seen or talked to me for 2.5 years) who fully ran my treatment at CAMH in Toronto Nov 13, 2002 to Jan 15, 2003.
Thank you for listening.
I am sure I am not the only mother who has had this happen to her, but I was in the position to survive it.
It would be great to see this remedied, once and for all.
If you, or someone you know, would like to submit a Divorce and FIRE story, I would love to hear from you.
You can remain anonymous unless you specifically give permission to reveal your identity.
I have created an outline of some of the topics you might want to consider elaborating on in your submission.
If you are in search of financial help, please consider enlisting the service of any of the sponsors of this blog who I feel are part of the “good guys and gals of finance.”
Even a steadfast DIY’er can sometimes gain benefit from the occasional professional input.
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