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Till death do us part no longer holds the same weight as it once did.
Divorce rates have reached a point where you have the same chance of being in a successful marriage as a 50-50 coin toss.Divorce rates have reached a point where you have the same chance of being in a successful marriage as a 50-50 coin toss. Click To Tweet
I was therefore thrilled to receive a guest submission by Rachael Pace, who is a featured writer on the very popular website, Marriage.com, to help stack the odds in your favor for this very important life decision.
[Disclaimer: We have no financial relationship]
Rachael was kind enough to share the most common signs that a marriage may be failing, which could lead to an expensive and brutal divorce like mine.
In the game of life, sometimes the best offense is a good defense.
I hope you enjoy her writing style and benefit from the underlying message.
Are you happy in your marriage?
If you’re experiencing troubles or aren’t as happy as you used to be together, it may be time to consider marital counseling.
Divorce is more common than ever.
Research shows that out of 1,000 married women, 16.9 will end up divorced each and every year in the United States.
But just because divorce is common doesn’t mean you just let your happy marriage go down the drain without a fight.
Whether you’re deep in the throes of unhappiness or are merely having trouble communicating these days, marital counseling can be beneficial for any stage of marriage – but in order to save your relationship, you must seek a marriage therapist.
Here are 7 signs it’s time to make an appointment.
- Your Sex Life is Dead
A lack of sex in your relationship is a major sign that there is trouble in paradise.
This is not only because sex is fun and relieves stress between partners.
No, sex means so much more to a relationship than an orgasm.
A lack of sex diminishes the emotional connection you share with your spouse.
It could also signal that your partner has lost interest in your relationship or is seeing someone else behind your back.
If you haven’t been intimate in weeks or are experiencing an unpleasant shift in your sex life, it could be a sign that it’s time to attend marital counseling.
- You Don’t Know How to Communicate
Happy couples know how to communicate with one another.
They talk about their day, communicate their wants, needs, and desires in life and within the relationship.
This positive quality helps them draw closer to one another, builds trusts, and displays respect.
Couples who don’t know how to communicate will end up with more misunderstandings and arguments than those who do.
The inability to communicate can also make conflict resolution feel impossible and can add to a sense of frustration in the marriage.
- You Don’t Want to Be Around Each Other
Research shows that partners who spend quality time together on a regular basis are less likely to get divorced.
They also boost passion, excitement, and communication in the relationship.
The biggest signs that you need to find a marriage therapist ASAP is the feeling of deep unhappiness when you are around your spouse.
Your spouse should be someone who lifts you up.
They should make you feel happy, attractive, respected, and loved.
Not insecure, irritated, angry, or bored.
- You’re Living Separate Lives
One sign that you may want to consider marital counseling is if you and your spouse are, for the most part, living entirely different lives.
Studies show that couples are happiest when they treat each other like best friends.
They also blossom when sharing friends, as opposed to keeping separate friendships.
It’s natural for couples to be busy with their work schedules.
It’s also perfectly normal and healthy for couples to spend time apart, nurturing their own friendships and family relations.
But what happens when healthy solo socializing turns into living completely separate lives?
Physical distance can lead to emotional distance, which will ruin your marriage.
- You’re Always Negative
Do you find that you’re constantly highlighting the worst in your spouse?
Does it feel impossible to list their positive qualities?
Are you always complaining about them to your friends and family?
These are common signs that it’s time to start thinking about marriage counseling.
You should think the world of your partner.
Of course, nobody’s perfect.
Even the happiest of couples can find their partner’s habits and behavior to be irritating every now and then.
But, if you find you are always looking at the worst in your spouse or you yourself have a pervasive negative attitude, consider seeing a marriage therapist.
- You’re Financially Unfaithful
It’s no secret that money can be a tricky topic for couples to talk about.
One common warning sign that your marriage is on the rocks is when you or your spouse are being financially unfaithful.
What is financial infidelity?
This occurs when you or your spouse:
- Refuse to talk about money or get defensive about your finances
- Know nothing about the family finances
- Hide money from one another
- Lie about properties or savings
- Buy things without telling your spouse
- Spend out of revenge
- Arguments about money are frequent
- Consistently lie about money
Research shows that one in three Americans admit they lie to their spouse about money.
This can be dangerous, as one financial lie can cause all kinds of damage to your romantic relationship.
- You’re Having or Considering an Affair
If things are not going well in your marriage, you may be looking for a way out.
It could be that your spouse has not been physically affectionate toward you in years or perhaps you have no desire to cheat on your spouse, but have been carrying on an emotional affair with someone outside the marriage.
Regardless of the reasoning behind it, it is not uncommon for those who are going through a hard time in their marriage to consider having an affair.
If you feel yourself looking outside your marriage to find fulfillment, it is essential that you contact a marriage therapist and set up an appointment.
They will be able to give you and your partner the tools you need to get through this rough patch in your relationship.
Do you feel like something is missing from your romantic relationship? Does it seem like you and your partner are having trouble communicating, always find negative things to say about one another, or are living separate lives?
If so, you and your spouse would likely benefit from attending marriage counseling.
Just remember to do so with open minds and willing hearts.
Author Bio: Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
If you are in search of financial help, please consider enlisting the service of any of the sponsors of this blog who I feel are part of the “good guys and gals of finance.”
Even a steadfast DIY’er can sometimes gain benefit from the occasional professional input.
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